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Hermione was not particularly enjoying today's Care of Magical Creatures class. Hagrid had brought the entire class out to the stables to help muck about
the place, cleaning up after several unicorns that were being kept there for the winter. She suspected the groundskeeper just didn't feel like doing all
the work himself, but of course she didn't say so out loud.
Some of the Slytherins had broken off into a small group of their own, and Draco was among them. But when he noticed that Hermione was alone in one of the
stalls, poking around with a pitch fork at the fresh hay she had brought in to cover the floor, he broke away from them and stepped inside with her.
"Hmm, this is cozy," he said with a suggestive grin as he leaned against the wall by her side.
Hermione glanced around, and then crinkled her nose at him and said, "If you say so."
"Well, it all depends on the company you keep whether or not you like a certain place or not," he pointed out, trying to put an arm around her shoulders.
Side-stepping him neatly, Hermione answered, "Yes, I quite agree."
"Come on, Hermione," Draco cajoled her. "I know you don't have anybody else, why don't you want to spend some time with me?"
"Because," she growled. "Because to you, that's all it would be. I don't want to simply spend time with someone, I want someone who needs a lot more from
me than just a quick shag that they wouldn't even want to tell anyone about. I've got a lot more self-respect than that. Besides, how do you know I don't
have someone? Maybe I do."
Draco tried to suppress an ironic laugh when he heard that statement. Did Hermione fancy she could just go about telling the world who she was with, and
they would just say 'oh, how wonderful for you'? He had always thought she was a bit cork-brained, but that was taking it to the extreme, in his opinion.
"Who do you have, you silly girl?" Draco scoffed. "The only thing I've ever seen you give any sort of affection to was your talking mirror. Talking mirrors
just plain don't have the right anatomy to get the job done."
"Draco, has it ever occurred to you that the only thing you have ever asked me is whether or not I wanted to shag?" Hermione pointed out. "Not 'how was your
day' or 'what makes you happy' or 'what do you want to do after you graduate'?"
"Ok, fine," he grumbled. "What do you want to do after you graduate?"
"That's an excellent question," she said with a grin. "I was thinking about being a librarian."
Draco did a double-take when he heard that. "That figures," he commented with a slight sneer.
"This conversation is going nowhere, Draco," Hermione told him as she started moving around the hay again. "Why don't you go find somebody who actually wants
your attentions, because I certainly don't?"
"Ok, Granger, what about you?" Draco snarled. "Have you ever once asked me what I want to do after I graduate?"
"No, because it's only obvious what you'll be doing," Hermione said resentfully. "You'll get a nice, cushy job in the Ministry compliments of your Daddy just
as soon as the ink has dried on your diploma. Everyone knows that."
"Yes, well, being the Malfoy heir does have its perks," he agreed with a smile. "I'm going to get to live in the lap of luxury, while you're going to have to
fight for every crumb. Which is just as it should be, since I am pure-blood and you are not."
"Bother your pure-blooded crap," Hermione practically shouted. "Your blood is no different than mine, as I have already proven in the past. Or do you need
another demonstration?"
"That's quite all right," Draco said as he backed out of the stall and shut the gate tight. As he walked away he mumbled, "You can have the wench, my Lord. She's
nothing like what I want for a wife, that's for sure. And as you can see, she certainly didn't respond favorably to my advances."
Draco's pocket emitted a scoffing snort, and he pulled the small piece of mirror out.
"What did you say, my Lord?" he asked as he looked at his Master's eyes glaring out at him.
"How did you expect her to react considering the manner of your approach?" Tom wanted to know. "You practically threw yourself at her in the middle of a
dung heap. Have you no sense of romance whatsoever? The whole thing was deplorable."
"Well, it's not as if I really wanted to do it in the first place," Draco pointed out. "What do you want me to do it for anyway, if you have already claimed
the wench for yourself?"
"I just wanted you to prove to yourself that she doesn't want you," Tom informed him. "Because believe me, Draco, if I ever catch you trying again, it
will be the last thing you ever do. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"
"Yes, my Lord," he said, then quickly slipped his mirror into his pocket again as Pansy Parkinson joined him.
"What were you doing in the stall with that filthy Mudblood just now, Draco?" she demanded hotly. "You can't seriously be interested in her when you
could have me."
"It was nothing, Pansy, just Head Girl and Boy business," he said. "The masquerade is tonight, you know."
"Yes, and I was counting on you to ask me," she pouted. "I've turned down four other boys waiting, but you still didn't ask me."
"Oh, sorry," he said with a blush. "I had so many things on my mind, I completely forgot about getting myself a date tonight. Sure I'll take you, if you
want me to."
"All right," she smiled. "I'll see you there."
"How pathetic," came Tom's voice from his pocket.
Draco pulled him out again. "Now what?"
"Do you think 'sure, I'll take you if you want me to' is in any way romantic?" Tom grumbled.
"What, now you're going to advise me on romancing other girls as well, my Lord?" Draco inquired, somewhat annoyed.
"Believe me, you could use it," Tom told him. "Don't you know that women love to be treated like the beautiful, sexy creatures they are? A simple look, and
just the right touch, can make all the difference between a kiss or a swift kick in your arse. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about."
"Really? How many girls have you seduced?" Draco asked curiously.
"Draco, a true gentleman does not disclose such things," he answered stoically.
"Oy, since when are you a true gentleman?" he pointed out. "You're the bloody Dark Lord, aren't you? Can't get less gentlemanly than that."
"Just because I have done things that are evil in order to further my plans, does not mean I have to go about acting crude on a daily basis," Tom told
him. "I suppose next you would have me letting my teeth go bad or forgetting to bathe for weeks on end or something, too? Or maybe you think I would be
so rude as to leave my dirty clothes on the floor for someone else to pick up?"
"No offense, sir, but you're a bit loopy, aren't you?"
"Just because I'm on the other side of this mirror right now doesn't mean I won't remember this conversation when I am not, Draco," he said venomously. "All
I was trying to point out is that just because one employs the dark arts as a means to an end, doesn't mean they can't treat their lady with tender loving
care. And I intend to do just that."
"Granger's no lady," Draco scoffed. "That little witch was right beside the Potter boy, destroying your horcruxes. You should be punishing her, not
coddling her."
"The horcruxes were a bad idea," Tom said. "I'm rather glad they are gone. I wish to seek alternative methods to extend my life, which may not require such
a drastic price to obtain."
"You know, my Lord, I knew you right before you died, and you were nothing like this," Draco said. "I wonder what all you did that created the man you were
last year."
"Well, I haven't done any of those things yet, so I really couldn't say," Tom told him. "But, if my plan goes off without a hitch, I personally will never
have to do them. I'll be leaving it for my mirror image to deal with, while I come forward in time to start fresh."
"My Lord, is there anything else you wish for me to do for you?"
"Have you contacted my followers as I requested?" he asked.
"Yes, I have informed my father, and several others, of your upcoming return," he told him. "All will be in place by the time that night arrives."
"Very good, Draco," he said. "I am impressed. Well then, I suppose all you have to do now is get ready for the masquerade. It sounds like it will be great
fun--and maybe you can practice being romantic on your date. I'm sure she would appreciate the effort."
Draco laughed. "Pansy, appreciate something? As if!"
"She might just surprise you, Draco," Tom said. "Why don't you start out by getting her a corsage? I'm sure she won't be expecting it, but she'll love it
all the more as a result."
Draco chuckled, and said, "You're about the last person I ever would have envisioned giving me dating advice, did you know that?"
"Yes, I'm certain of that," he agreed with an appreciative chuckle of his own. With that, Draco put the mirror away again and finished the rest of his
classes impatiently. He couldn't wait until tonight, just to see the look on Pansy's face. Sure, Voldemort was just trying to distract his attentions
away from Hermione and thus remove a rival for her affections, but Draco was willing to concede that she would never have been his anyway. Some things
were just not meant to be.
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